For me however, I am finding this time extremely frustrating, tiring, anxiety generating and many other words that I could throw into the mix. To be honest I havent even thought about commissioning or next year. At the moment my thoughts are focussed on now and all the assessments that need to be done over the next month. As expected I have even been questioning my calling and reconfirming in my heart that yes I have heard correctly from God. As I wrestle with all that is going on inside of this head of mine I am reminded that what I am feeling is real, and that these thoughts and doubts are natural responses to what is goingto soon be a life changing experience.
As I think about what can only be explained as spiritual attacks over the past few weeks, I have come to realise, and I have been reminded on many an occasion that whenever we take a stand for Jesus the devil gets worried. When I think about going in to ministry within the next few months it makes sense that the enemy would be quaking in his boots. Why? Well it's got nothing to do with my ability and my talents that is for sure, rather it is to do with the message I take with me. The message and hope of Jesus and the free gift of salvation that He offers. Now that is a message the devil should be scared of. Why? Because when people hear the good news and receive it the enemy loses ground. The deception of this world loses its power and people are released and receive a freedom that this world can never offer or fulfil.
This emotional rollercoaster, this lonliness that I have been feeling over the past few months is nothing more than a distraction. A distraction that has been trying for a long time to derail me from the path that my God has planned for me. I can only imagine that full time ministry will not get any easier and that these attacks will increase. I know that this is not just a thorn in my side but rather a message of encouragement as God reminds me that I am certainly on the right track.
May God's grace and favour continue to keep me in good stride.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
Lean not on your own understanding
But in ALL your ways acknowledge Him
And He WILL make your paths straight.