I have learned once again to never say never to God. He has a sense of humour you know and for me he often calls my bluff and gives me the very thing I tried to resist. Over the past few years I have noticed a pattern in my life when it comes to life changing events. Whenever I have said that I wasn't going to do something (My home Corps is nicknamed the church of the never never) for Jesus it always happened. For example, I once said that I would never become a soldier in the salvation army and it happened. I said that I would never be willing to serve as a leader in my church and it happened. Finally I said that I would never ever enter training college to train for full time ministry and guess what? here I am. One would have thought that after all these subtle indications from God of what He had planned for my life, I would be well versed in knowing how He chooses to work in me and that I should be very careful about what I say I will not do.
As the cadets were gearing up for receiving our placements I recall myself saying that there were two places where I didn't want to be sent to. Not because there is anything wrong with them but moreso because of my own lack of faith in my own ability and the shear size of the churches. I guess my first mistake was saying I didnt want to go. As I listened to the sermon in two meetings yesterday morning about trusting God and having faith in Him even when I am not sure, and when those that God used to do great things made all the excuses in the world of why they were not able to do what God asked of them, I came to realise that God was about to shake me up a little. As I stood there on the platform waiting to hear my placement for 2012 I just knew what was about to happen and where it was I was going. All of a sudden I was in the never never. As I think about this more I find myself getting excited about all that is about to take place. When I think of my journey over the years I find that my greatest growth and joy have come from those times when God shook the cage of my life and took me well out of my comfort zone. And so I can only imagine what He is about to do in me over the next few months. I have always been told that in order to grow and in order to lead well I need to remain teachable and available.
Remaining teachable and available for me means that I may have to do or learn something even if everything in me says no. You cannot move forward in leadership or understanding if you are not willing to move so far out of your comfort zone that you have no choice but to rely on God. By even saying no you are saying that you no longer want to learn or grow. God knows what is best for me. God knows where He wants me and what He needs to do in me even if I don't.
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.