What to write after an eventless week

Well what to write?  It has been a while since I have issued a new post and as I think about why that is I can't help but reflect over my past week.  How has it been?  Well to be honest it has been a horrible week, its been a lonely week and quite frankly I am glad that its over. 

As of today the second year cadets are officially on outplacement and I know for many this is an exciting time as we get to experience ministry in the field.  My own placements are good but to be honest I am really not looking forward to them.  Physically, emotionally and spiritually I feel drained and I am really struggling to focus on both God and what lies ahead other than the assignments that are due in coming weeks.  It seems to me that even though we are going to be busy at our placements, and that we are supposed to be focussing on them that, in the middle of it all the study raises its head and for me this is a huge distraction.  I feel that my whole life rotates around the books and stuff that quite frankly makes no sense.  Comprehending what is done in class  is more than a challenge let alone actually remembering any of it.  The academic which is important is just such a bore and I find the more I have to do it the more I dislike it.  It just seems so overwhelming and that plays havock with my anxiety levels.

So I guess its just been one of those weeks and I am just feeling sorry for myself.  Maybe.  Maybe what I am feeling is justified I don't know.  It is a scary thought however, knowing I have a full year ahead and yet already I feel exhauseted and fed up.  The questions get asked in my mind, am I supposed to be here?  have I heard the call correctly?  am I capable?  do I want to be capable? and the questions go on.  Sometimes it would be so much easier to go back to what I was good at and where for the most part I was certainly alot happier.  Who knows.  anyway here is heading into a new week.  Maybe by next weekend I will be feeling much happier.

None But Jesus

As I sat in prayers this morning (and it was a truly amazing prayer meeting) I was just blown away by the presence of the Spirit.  A song that I havent heard for a very long time but one which is quite timely , was played.  Isn't it awesome how things just happen at the right time. 

The song was None But Jesus.  As I listened to the words the stuff of the past year, the stresses, the worries and the fears just seemed to disolve into nothingness.  And it got me thinking, how often do we let the things of life completely overwhelm us, distract us and if left unchecked will in some cases even destroy us?

Jesus said “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30

Friends, the stuff of this life has no power over us.  Satan would tell us otherwise and he will try and distract and confuse, and tell us that their is something wrong with the way we are.  He will try and get us so busy that eventually we will burn out and even be so caught up in our own ability and ideas that we forget that we are nothing without Jesus. The reality is that in life, all we really need is Jesus.

None But Jesus lyrics
Songwriters: Fraser, Brooke;

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I won?t refuse
Each new day again I?ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You?re sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

So when You call I won?t delay
This my song through all my days

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

All my delight is in You, Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You, Lord, forevermore

Today I was reminded that we CANNOT afford to miss just stopping what we are doing and spending time with God and allowing Him to refresh, restore and to refocus us.  

Are you confused? Distracted? Ready to burnout? None but Jesus.

The Never Never

I have learned once again to never say never to God.  He has a sense of humour you know and for me he often calls my bluff and gives me the very thing I tried to resist.  Over the past few years I have noticed a pattern in my life when it comes to life changing events.  Whenever I have said that I wasn't going to do something (My home Corps is nicknamed the church of the never never) for Jesus it always happened.  For example, I once said that I would never become a soldier in the salvation army and it happened.  I said that I would never be willing to serve as a leader in my church and it happened.  Finally I said that I would never ever enter training college to train for full time ministry and guess what? here I am.  One would have thought that after all these subtle indications from God of what He had planned for my life, I would be well versed in knowing how He chooses to work in me and that I should be very careful about what I say I will not do.

As the cadets were gearing up for receiving our placements I recall myself saying that there were two places where I didn't want to be sent to.  Not because there is anything wrong with them but moreso because of my own lack of faith in my own ability and the shear size of the churches.  I guess my first mistake was saying I didnt want to go.  As I listened to the sermon in two meetings yesterday morning about trusting God and having faith in Him even when I am not sure, and when those that God used to do great things made all the excuses in the world of why they were not able to do what God asked of them, I came to realise that God was about to shake me up a little.  As I stood there on the platform waiting to hear my placement for 2012 I just knew what was about to happen and where it was I was going.  All of a sudden I was in the never never.  As I think about this more I find myself getting excited about all that is about to take place.  When I think of my journey over the years I find that my greatest growth and joy have come from those times when God shook the cage of my life and took me well out of my comfort zone.  And so I can only imagine what He is about to do in me over the next few months.  I have always been told that in order to grow and in order to lead well I need to remain teachable and available.

Remaining teachable and available for me means that I may have to do or learn something even if everything in me says no.  You cannot move forward in leadership or understanding if you are not willing to move so far out of your comfort zone that you have no choice but to rely on God.  By even saying no you are saying that you no longer want to learn or grow.  God knows what is best for me.  God knows where He wants me and what He needs to do in me even if I don't.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. 

                                                                                                            (Hebrews 11:1)